But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize