Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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