If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
