mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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