Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Say something about gay babies.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
