no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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