You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
where does the pee come out of this thing
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
