Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
