ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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