I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
