your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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