Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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