I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
