I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
