It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
