Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
