dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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