Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
