Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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