can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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