I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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