check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
