dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
