well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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