Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize