You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
