I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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