I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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