i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
