IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
