Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
