So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
