Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
