the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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