I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
