She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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