...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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