Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
