yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
