Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
