garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
