it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize