with your own penis?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
