idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
