I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
