You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
