At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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