How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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