i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
