Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
