David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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