I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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