look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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