Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Green mimosas i think yes
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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