I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
then he tried to convert me to islam
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize