I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
