I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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