we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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