I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
