is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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