yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
