jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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