I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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