Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
