Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
