You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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