i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
