Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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