It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
