I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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