So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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