Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
