You can't motorboat a personality
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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