its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
