i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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