Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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