Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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